Be Open to Whatever Comes Next

So many things have changed since I was last here, both for me personally and for us as a country. I've got much to write about that I don't really know where to begin, and my notebook is crammed with post ideas that are in danger of becoming irrelevant if I don't get them written soon.

I don't want to start making excuses for my lack of presence, but we have just been without the internet (and phone line or mobile signal) at our house for the best part of two months! After the very drawn out and tiresome process of moving house (during which we had to convince the land registry that we did in fact own all of the rooms in the house we were selling, and were not squatting in our own bathroom as the deeds suggested) we then had a two month row with our new internet provider, and finally got connected at the end of last week. I lost the whole of Friday evening to an online shopping and pinterest binge and went to bed at 1am with little squares scrolling past my closed eyelids. Now I've got it out of my system, I figured it was about time I got my bum back over here and start writing again.

Apart from moving house, the biggest change that's happened in my two month absence has been that I've finally taken the plunge and handed in my resignation, meaning that I will be leaving my job in three weeks time with no concrete plan for my next move. Am I mad? Probably, yes. We've just taken on a bigger house, and a bigger mortgage, and given that the whole country is unsure of what's going to happen with interest rates and job security, it's probably a fairly crazy thing to have done. But funnily enough, it feels right. It feels thrilling and liberating. It feels like I'm giving myself the space to discover what it is I really, truly want to do with the next phase of my life.

Right now, all I know for sure (apart from a few things that I know I don't want to do!) is that I want to play again. I want to make things because I'm curious and to re-discover some of the skills I've let become stifled. There was a time when I would look at something in a shop and my first thought wouldn't be 'Can I afford that?" but "How can I make that?"

I also want to write as much as I can. I'm not sure of the exact capacity yet, but I love it and I need it, and communicating with written words comes much more naturally to me than verbalising my thoughts.

My best friend and I were talking about plans for the future a while ago, and she said that maybe we shouldn't worry too much about how long things last. I have a tendency to plan too much, and to think about where something will take me in five years time, or how long it will provide me with an income rather than just enjoying the process and accepting that sometimes things come to a natural end and that's ok! So I don't have a concrete plan of exactly what I want to do, but I know how I want to feel and that's a start.  

I saw a quote a few weeks back and it's sort of become my mantra since:

'Jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down"

I'd better start collecting feathers.