Today I'm excited to bring you another instalment of 'Food Moments', a series of guest posts sharing moments involving food that have changed or shaped the way we live.
Today's is a particularly personal account of two very similar packed lunches, eaten in two very different frames of mind. It comes from the wonderful Kat Nicholls of Blue Jay of Happiness who I had the pleasure of meeting at Blogtacular a few months ago and who's story I can absolutely relate to!
Enjoy!
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"Before I tell my food moment story, I feel I should give you a quick bit of background on my relationship with food. In my teens I had anorexia, an eating disorder that essentially makes food the enemy. Pretending food didn’t exist and crying with hunger pain was sadly my reality back then.
Thankfully, I recovered once I hit my twenties, but I still struggled to find the balance and there was still a lot I didn’t like about my body. I still saw food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and joined in when people at work talked about calories and losing weight.
Fast forward to the summer of 2014 when me and my then boyfriend went to Switzerland to visit my friend and her boyfriend who had recently moved there. It was my first time to the country and we had an incredible weekend exploring our friends' new home.
One day we went on a hike up a mountain. It was 30 degrees and I was wearing jeans. Combine that with the fact that I hated physical exercise in those days and I’m sure you can imagine the sweaty mess of a person I became on that mountain.
Despite genuinely thinking I might die because I was so desperately unfit, I still took the time to admire the beauty. Once we reached the top, we found seats among the rocks and cracked open a glorious packed lunch.
Cheese sandwiches, crisps, boiled eggs and Swiss chocolate washed down with cool water. I remember thinking at the time how incredible this combination of simple food was. While there was nothing gourmet or ‘special’ about the ingredients, at the time it was the best tasting food I had ever eaten. After all, I had just hiked up a bloody mountain and had never felt more deserving of food.
After this holiday, I remember looking back at the photos from that hike and fixating on my body… still. Rather than looking at the incredible sights, I was looking at my upper arms. My body was trying to tell me it deserved the food I was giving it, but my head wasn’t quite there yet.
This summer, I went back to Switzerland. I’m in a new relationship now and this was our first trip abroad together. My friend and her boyfriend are now husband and wife, and as usual they showed us an excellent time.
Learning our lesson from my last visit (i.e. that I am not cut out for hiking) we skipped proper hiking for a leisurely walk in a mountain town. There were still waterfalls, Swiss cows and incredible sights to be seen. And of course, there was still a glorious packed lunch to be eaten.
I peeled the shell of my boiled egg, looked around and felt grateful. Not only because of the beauty I was surrounded by and the people I was with, but because this time I knew I wouldn’t care how I looked in the photos.
I knew I deserved the food I put into my body, that I’m beautiful just the way I am and that my upper arms are fabulous even if they wobble. I knew it was absolutely OK to savour and enjoy this delicious food, even if I hadn’t hiked up a mountain first. I knew I was worthy of everything I was experiencing.
And, well… nothing tastes sweeter than that."
Kat is 31, lives in Surrey and works in communications and content creation. When she's not at work, you'll find her writing about health, happiness and hope over on Blue Jay of Happiness. You can also find her on Instagram and Twitter with thoughts on mental wellness, body positivity, and daily musings (and videos of her cat, Sanka.)
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Thank you Kat for sharing such a personal story, and also for such beautiful images - I've definitely just added Switzerland to my list of must visit countries!
Love, love, love this. And I can see Switzerland from where I am reading it! 😘
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